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Dear Target,

Forget Disneyland! 
For me, you are the happiest place on Earth.

I can honestly say that visiting you is the one errand I actually look forward to.
The moment I exit my car I am able to easily locate one of your extra large and ultra comfy shopping carts complete with straps that actually wrap around Baby W’s tummy–and some of your carts even come equipped with a cup holder for my large diet coke–every Momma’s dream come true!
 

Then, I enter your air conditioned happy place, and I am immediately overcome with the excitement of rummaging through your glorious $1 section. After stocking up on all the $1 items that I surely want need {Frisbee, stickers, lip gloss and a headband}, I notice that you have conveniently placed antibacterial hand and cart wipes for me to wipe the swine flu off my deluxe shopping cart–thank you for being so thoughtful.

I have now worked up an appetite and a thirst from my dollar section rummaging, so before I get-my-shopping-on, I head over to your surprisingly fabulous food court where I order the usual–a large diet coke and yummy breadsticks with marinara sauce.
Mmmm good!

Baby W and I are now ready to hit the aisles and do some damage on our American Express {because you are awesome and accept AMEX}. I head out to stock up on the necessities–diet cherry pepsi, diapers, wipes, baby food, etc {yes, diet cherry pepsi was first on the list}.

I look at Baby W enjoying the last bite of his breadstick and I think to myself, “maybe, just maybe he will let me try on some clothes today”. After all, his belly is full and I have been dying to see how that new Converse denim wrap dress looks on.

I decide I would be pushing my luck if I attempted to take him into your dressing room with me, so I pull the momma-with-a-crazy-baby clothes try on method.
Translation: I try on the dress over the clothes I am already wearing.

And you know what Target–you totally get it. Because you have so graciously placed full length mirrors throughout you entire clothes section to spare me the difficulty of schlepping my child and overflowing cart to the changing room; and I love you all the more for this.

So today, I slipped the adorable denim dress over my head and tied it around my waste, all the while admiring its perfect fit in your full length mirror. Meanwhile, Baby W has decided trying on clothes isn’t that much fun for him and he is ready to exit the cart–which he begins to attempt.

Unable to escape your very secure cart straps, Baby W goes into full-blown temper tantrum mode, and I mean full blown! Arms are flailing, screams are ringing, drool is flying, legs are going stiff, breath is being held , face is going red, and I am beyond embarrassed.
{photo of another recent tantrum}

You see, today I was “that mom”. The Mom I used to see in Target and shake my head because she couldn’t get control over her child{ren}. That Mom who loses her cool because she is in the Target tantrum spotlight. That Mom whose voice starts to quiver in anger as she gives some irrational order to her child in an failed attempt to regain control. That Mom you see holding her child two feet off the ground from his armpit. Well, I became “that mom”–and I like to refer to her as Mommy Dearest. And today Mommy Dearest just wanted to try on the new Converse denim wrap dress in peace–was that too much to ask?!

But nooooo, instead Mommy Dearest had to leave the happiest place on Earth prematurely with a kicking and screaming 11 month old tucked under her arm–without ever hitting the fabulous shoe section, the amazing home decor isles and the vortex that is the clearance rack.

So until next time Target…
i love you

Your loyal customer,

ashley

p.s. Did I mention that I was stopped at the register because apparently I was still wearing the super cute dress over my clothes. I bought it.
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Disclaimer: Target did not pay me or contact me to tell you how fabulous I think they are.  However, Target–you have my number *wink*.
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